A Side Note

Hey all, I'll post about 6th grade in a few days, but I'd like to talk about what I did for myself when I went through all of this. My mom always used to tell me, "We'll do everything we ca to help you through this, but in the end it all comes down to you." I never knew what she meant, but now I do. What that means is that no matter who tries to help you or how much, if you don't try to fix things, it will all stay the same. I say that I never acted out cause I was raised not to, and that IS true, but only partially. It was also because I figured if they hated me this much, I must deserve it, so I did nothing to change things. Because of that it went on for four years, until finally I just... snapped. But that's another story. The point I'm trying to make is that no one ever does anything to make things better for themselves, to change things. I'm as guilty of this as anyone. When I went through depression, I was the typical 'Emo kid'. I dressed in all dark colors, listened to music like slipknot and disturbed. I kept a low profile at all times, and stayed away from other people, even after I got out of Cannon. It did absolutely nothing to help me, in fact it had quite the negative effect. Music like that is fine in a healthy state of mind but when you are depressed and already not doing so well, as much as you want to and it might seem to make sense you shouldn't be listening to songs about losing people and killing yourself and all the like. It only makes things worse. And also, if you FEEL isolated and alone, it might be because you make yourself appear that way, and so no one wants to be around you. Try upbeat music. When I actually tried a mental turnaround, I listened to Billy Joel and Jimmy Eat World (The Middle was my personal favorite for obvious reasons), along with Van Halen, but that was because I was made fun of for not knowing who they were originally. Also, if you're feeling like this and reading depressing poetry and literature, it WILL keep you in that mindset. Try finding something you enjoy reading, preferably something fictional and mindless that you can lose yourself in. No murder stories, no suicidal people, NO BELL JAR, try action and romance and even sci-fi if you like. From 5th to 7th grade, I must have read The Misfits by James Howe 100 times. In fact, I just reread it and I STILL love that book. For people of that age experiencing the things I've talked about, I must recommend that book. For eighth and ninth graders, Please Stop Laughing at Me by Jodee Blanco is a powerful book that, while bringing back painful memories, helped me get through. And finally, for the older grades, the last book on my to read list is The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, another powerful, inspirational book that stays with me. Find your own books that have a lasting impact on you. Or pour it all into your inspiration, whether it be helping people, public speaking, sports, art, writing, or anything that helps. Everyone needs an outlet. Truly Yours, as always, Alex Cercone (cercone495@yahoo.com).