My First Kiss.. with a girl.

Ive never really been open about my first kiss with a girl. Ive only told maybe three people the whole story. Her name was Nicole (not real name), and she was my best friend in 7th and 8th grade. We were sitting in my room, and I told her I had something to tell her but I was afraid to. She promised me she wouldnt tell anyone, and whatever it is wouldnt change our friendship. So I told her that I had always wanted to kiss a girl, but not just any girl... Her. She was the only girl I wanted to kiss. This was around Novemberish. I cant really remember. Nicole spent the night at my house every weekend, even after I told her. Instead of her resenting me and ignoring me, she started flirting. She would cuddle up to me at night, sit really close to me when we watched a movie, and she would put her nose against mine and say "you know you can kiss me." She would lay on top of me and trace her nose across my face. It doesnt sound like it would have that big of an effect, but it drove me crazy. I couldnt let myself kiss her though. I didnt want to ruin the friendship that we had. I didnt want to ruin the plans we had to go to college together and then go and tour college. I just couldnt let that happen. New Years Eve she spent the night, and thats when it all went down. We watched the ball drop and then went to bed, and early night for us to say the least. She cuddled up again, which I was fine with, but then she got on top of me. She started the teasing things again. "You know you can kiss me." She has a piece of mint gum in her mouth and I could smell it when she talked. And thats where the love of mint started. And then, we kissed. Not a peck but not a make out. Im not sure what to call it because she freaked out. She jumped up and went and brushed her teeth. "I didnt think I was that bad of a kisser." Im not sure how much time went by before we went to bed, but I remember waking up and she was cuddling up again. After that night, we didnt talk. I saw her again in Feburary at a friends birthday party, and she hugged me but thats about it. I promised I wouldnt tell anyone, but I didnt think it was that big of a deal. So what, we kissed? Big deal. We havent talked in almost two years. And I miss her so much. Not because of the kiss, but because of the friendship we had. She cut off all contact with me. She wonnt answer my calls or texts and blocked me on facebook. Ive tried to talk to her, to say Im sorry for what happened. But I dont think I should be sorry for what happened. She wanted to kiss me too. It was a mutual kiss, but I get the blame because I told her I wanted to. My mom says that I should just forget about her and move on, but I cant make myself do that. I cant forget about her. Please dont think that Im trying to push homosexuality onto the world, I just dont want one kiss, whether gay or straight, to ruin a relationship.