Lauryn Suda - My Story

Hey guys! My name is Lauryn Suda and my life growing up, still to this day, was and is extremely difficult. When I was 2 years old, my mom had my little brother Josh. He was born with Dandywalkersyndrome and Cebralpaulsy. He was also born missing the third of his brain. Before the age of 3, he had 21 brain operations and 4 eye surgeries so he and my parents were in and out of the hospital. This meant I had to stay with family and friends. This was really hard on me because I always felt alone and unwanted. When I was in first grade, we moved to Mooresville NC. When I was in elementary school, I used to always get bullied. People would make fun of me and say I was ugly and would always point out my flaws. When I got to intermediate school, it got worse. The kids on the bus would make fun of my blonde eyebrows and say that I didn't have any. They would make fun of the way I look and make fun of my clothes. I've been a cheerleader and dancer since 1st grade and they would always make fun of me saying that I couldn't dance or cheer. (I later found out that they were saying that because they were jealous. When I tried out for the middle school cheerleading team, I actally had the second highest score.) But anyway, this was very painful for me. Again, I felt like I wasn't wanted. When I came home, it wasn't any better. My little brother was always getting the attention and I would purposely do things to get the attention from my parents but they knew I was faking it. Every night, I would cry. I always wondered what it would be like if I left, but God told me to stay. He wouldn't give me the feet to run away. Somehow, I overcame what everyone was telling me on the bus and at school. The thing that helped me overcome it most was dance and cheerleading. My coaches knew I was good and that's where I got the attention that I so desperately needed.
This past year, Josh had his brain tumor removed along with a couple other surgeries but during his whole surgery thing, I felt again, unwanted. His story was told everywhere I turned and I grew EXTREMELY sick of it. To the point where it would bring back old memories and I would go to a private place and start crying. He was receiving gifts from my parents' friends and I felt invisible. It's very hard when you grow up with that feeling of being unwanted and invisible. From your family and your friends. Unfortunately, I got it in both places. When I reached High School, the bullying stopped. I can't remember a time where I had ever gotten bullied from anyone. There are times where I do look back and think about the rough times when I was bullied and I do get upset and begin to cry. I remember all the pain I felt and it has left a scar on my life. But without God, dance and cheerleading, I don't think I would have ever survived.

My email is lsuda360@gmail.com. Message me :)